Friday, July 17, 2009

Perils of dating

This one's a definitely personal post.
We all know that dating world is a hard one to be in.
And, well, it's harder for some of us than it is for others.
But in the last few months, I've been trying to be more open to new dates, etc.

With mixed results.
I've met some nice men. And some nice men who thing they're "bad guys."

But you know what most men in my dating pool are these days?
And that's really okay. Seriously. Life happens.

Which leads me to tonight's date.
I was introduced to a nice man by a friend. Isn't that how it always is?
And really, he is a nice man. Interesting conversation. Amusing as well. Which is really important to me.
We decided to meet for dinner and a movie.
He was actually waiting at the restaurant when I arrived.
Dinner was nice. We talked. A lot.
I talked about growing up back East.
He talked about growing up in San Francisco.
He told me about places he'd traveled to that I'd never been to.
I told him about places I'd traveled to that he hadn't been to.

You know what we didn't talk about? His first marriage and why it broke up.
That maybe was a conversation we should have had.
Especially since we were going to see "Up."
If you haven't seen it, sorry about the upcoming spoiler.
The beginning of the movie has a wordless sequence about Walter and Ellie's life. And it's clear that they can't have children.

I knew that. My date, apparently didn't.
I wish he had. Since it might have spared him an emotional breakdown at the movie theater.
By which I mean full on sobbing.
Apparently, his marriage had broken up due to their inability to conceive.
It had become an obsession for them both. And it ripped them apart.

We left early.
And in the parking lot, he said, "don't take this wrong, but I won't be calling you. Ever."
I can see why.


Pam Martin said...

Wowww ... That had to have been majorly uncomfortable. I don't know which of you to feel sorrier for (for different reasons).

shayera said...

It was in the end.
I don't feel bad for myself, to tell you the truth. I mean, everyone's got their own baggage.
I feel bad for him and his ex-wife. 'Cause I think there really was a lot of love that got lost.
It is what it is.

Willendorf Venus said...

Dang. That IS sad.

Neeta said...

Gosh, sorry this happened to both of you. It is a very sad movie in the beginning. Poor guy.

Christina said...

Oh my. That is SUPER sad. I am sure that going to see a kids movie he would have had no clue that a topic so raw for him would come up!

Adorable Girlfriend said...

If that is what took him over the edge, he wasn't ready to be out there dating, let alone in public. I feel for him, but that wasn't fair to you.


It gets easier or you just become more jaded and realize --- the mistakes we make in our youth aren't worth paying for now. Being alone is far better than having someone who is so unable to be at your level because it makes you crazy.

I guess what I am saying is this: AG and you -- we can grow old together and do it without a husband! Tell your Momma I said that! I'll be waiting for her call...


faboo mama said...

Oh, poor guy. Definitely not ready to be out there dating. But I'm glad you had fun-to-that-point date.

PS: I totally read this without reading the spoiler. Back pat? =)

Emma said...

Sweet cracker sandwich. I can't begin to count the crappy dates I've had in my life, but this? Oy. You have my deepest sympathies.

blue girl said...

Oh, Shayera, that is so sad! And what a big heart you have for being so understanding.

Hugs to you.


Anonymous said...

A movie like that ignited him? Too bad for him.
My feelings are reeling.