Does anyone remember what an apology is?

1. An acknowledgment expressing regret or asking pardon for a fault or offense.
2.
1. A formal justification or defense.
2. An explanation or excuse: “The consequence of those measures will be the best apology for my conduct” (Daniel Defoe).
3. An inferior substitute: The sagging cot was a poor apology for a bed.

[Latin apologia, from Greek apologiā : apo-, apo- + logos, speech.]

SYNONYMS apology, apologia, defense, justification. These nouns denote a statement that excuses or defends something, such as a past action or a policy: arguments that constituted an apology for capital punishment; published an apologia expounding her version of the events; a defense based on ignorance of the circumstances; an untenable justification for police brutality.

I ask this seriously in a mocking tone.
The above is the definition of apology. When I was a child, I was taught to admit what I did and say I was sorry.
Not "if I insulted anyone I apologize." It was "I did something wrong and I acknowledge what SPECIFICALLY it was and beg your forgiveness."
I am disgusted by the professional non apology that prevails today.
"I'm sorry if anyone was offended by my calling Professor Gates a jungle monkey."
"Jungle Monkey" email jeopardizes Boston Officer's job WTF?
"I apologize if anyone was insulted because I called the University of Notre Dame's football players dance a faggot dance." Hawaii coach apologizes for gay slur Again, WTF?
In what world do either of these men think, as their mouth is opening or their fingers are typing that those are appropriate terms to use?
Nowhere at all in society is it appropriate.
And followed by the "if anyone was insulted, hurt, etc, I apologize.

Not adequate. Stand up and admit what you did. Say you're sorry that you didn't bother to engage your brain. And that you realize it was inappropriate and hurtful to the people you directed it to.

Talk about an f*ed up set of priorites

I listen to terrestrial radio. At home, in the car and I usually stream y favorite radio station in my office most days.
So, this morning, I was driving back to my library and I heard the DJ on a station I listen to occasionally say that, "wow, sucks to be Adam Yauch right now." He went on to expound about how the Beastie Boys have a new album and tour already to go, but now they have to cancel it because of Adam's cancer. And what a bummer it must be, losing money that way.
Yauch is apparently going in for surgery this week and is expected to make a full recovery. Thank goodness. And many good wishes to him and his family.
But the DJ's words angered me to no end. You know, it does suck to be Adam Yauch right now. BECAUSE HE HAS CANCER! I'll bet you millions of dollars (offer void everywhere) that Yauch really isn't concerned about a temporary loss of income. He and his band mates are talented gentlemen. They'll be back to work when Yauch is well and they're ready.
You know what does suck Mr. radio DJ? What sucks is losing your life to cancer. Which, very luckily, won't happen to Adam. Maybe you should stop and think before you flap your mouth. You you really think that money is the first thing on his mind right now? I'll bet you more of those imaginary millions that it isn't.

Legislative Democrats PAY ATTENTION!

There are 257 Democratic Legislators in the House of Representatives.
There are 58 + 2 Democratic Senators in the Senate.
There is 1 Democratic President in the White House.

Do you know what that means? THAT MEANS THAT THE MAJORITY OF VOTERS ELECTED DEMOCRATS TO FEDERAL OFFICE LAST YEAR!!!!! Can you at least try to actually stand up for Democratic ideals? You know, just for fucking once!!! It's not damn hard. Almost 50 MILLION people in this country don't have health care. And you are COWARDS for negotiating away the possibility that they could get health care.
You kowtow and defer to the liars, cheaters and ignorant troglodytes that people the Republican Party. The Party that is too cowardly to tell their insane conspiracy theorists to SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Grow a damn spine. Or pull a Palin and resign. I lose more and more respect for you every single day.

Didn't know a noose was a racist image? Really?

Houston fire captain apologizes for locker noose

Come on now! That's a flat out lie. Or else the Captain is an absolute idiot and should be removed from his position for being unable to pass basic high school history.
I know it's easy to mock Texas for being backwards. But this sort of this is unbelievably stupid.

Civil Servants

I've been thinking a lot about the arrest of Henry Louis Gates this week.
And I'll be upfront in my opinion. I think the behavior of both men in the situation was probably wrong. But I think Officer Crowley was more wrong. Of course he did the correct thing in responding to a call reporting a suspected break in. But once Professor Gates presented his id proving he was in his own house, Officer Crowley should have apologized for the disturbance and left. No doubt about it.

He had no business calling in 7 other officers and telling Professor Gates to come out to his front porch and then arresting him. Doesn't matter if Professor Gates called him a racist. Officer Crowley may indeed be a fine officer. He may teach classes on how to avoid profiling. But he didn't follow his own lessons. Being an asshole is not a crime. Being rude to a police officer is not a crime. Police officers enforce the law, they aren't above it.

Lawrence O'Donell has an excellent op-ed about it in this week's Time Magazine: Viewpoint: The Stupidity of the Gates Arrest.

and Digby is, as always, correct in her analysis of Gatesgate.

But I've been thinking about this situation in the context of being a civil servant.
Which I am. (as you already know.) And so is officer Crowley.
According to the Wikipedia entry, Cambridge has a population of 101,355. The city of Los Angeles has a population of 12.6 million. Not comparing the municipalities at all. That's not my point.
The part of town I work in has a population around 20,000.

You've all heard me say that I'm rarely civil and never servile. And also you've probably heard me say I hate people.
And yes, I deal with people not on their best occasionally. Let's see, what are some of the things people have said to me or called me? "Whore," "bitchbrains," "idiot," "demon born Hell agent," "ungodly witch," "fatso."
Did those hurt my feelings? Maybe. Did they piss me off? Maybe. Did I use my very limited power to retaliate? No. Never. Did I respond to their insults? No. Did I call them names and curse them out? IN MY HEAD. And only in my head. Ever. Not once have I ever responded. And believe me, I'm one of the most thin skinned people I know.
And apparently so is Officer Crowley. But, unlike me, he doesn't seem to figured out a way to not let people get to him.
Policemen come in many forms. Some are good, some less so. But, like I said before, they aren't above the law. And they don't deserve extra respect because they're policemen. Of course, they shouldn't have to be abused either. But, again, being an asshole to a police officer isn't against the law.
I guess what I'm saying is: Professor Gates might have been an idiot. But he wasn't breaking any laws. And Officer Crowley overreacted and escalated an incident that could have been stopped with a SIMPLE apology. And an exit.

Perils of dating

This one's a definitely personal post.
We all know that dating world is a hard one to be in.
And, well, it's harder for some of us than it is for others.
But in the last few months, I've been trying to be more open to new dates, etc.

With mixed results.
I've met some nice men. And some nice men who thing they're "bad guys."

But you know what most men in my dating pool are these days?
Divorced.
And that's really okay. Seriously. Life happens.

Which leads me to tonight's date.
I was introduced to a nice man by a friend. Isn't that how it always is?
And really, he is a nice man. Interesting conversation. Amusing as well. Which is really important to me.
We decided to meet for dinner and a movie.
Fun.
He was actually waiting at the restaurant when I arrived.
Dinner was nice. We talked. A lot.
I talked about growing up back East.
He talked about growing up in San Francisco.
He told me about places he'd traveled to that I'd never been to.
I told him about places I'd traveled to that he hadn't been to.

You know what we didn't talk about? His first marriage and why it broke up.
That maybe was a conversation we should have had.
Especially since we were going to see "Up."
If you haven't seen it, sorry about the upcoming spoiler.
The beginning of the movie has a wordless sequence about Walter and Ellie's life. And it's clear that they can't have children.

I knew that. My date, apparently didn't.
I wish he had. Since it might have spared him an emotional breakdown at the movie theater.
By which I mean full on sobbing.
Apparently, his marriage had broken up due to their inability to conceive.
It had become an obsession for them both. And it ripped them apart.

We left early.
And in the parking lot, he said, "don't take this wrong, but I won't be calling you. Ever."
I can see why.

Um, how would she know?

Liz Cheney refuses to discuss veep's role in CIA

I see Liz Cheney is trotting out to defend her father again. 1. Why on EARTH is she allowed on tv constantly? What does she bring to the discussion, other than a full throated defense of her father. And 2. Why would she know what her father did? I don't believe that she would have had any national security clearance in her official position. Correct me if I'm wrong. So tell me why she would have any idea of what it was her father was up to while he was in office.
Oh, that's right. She shouldn't. But here she is, all over the news, telling us that her father is a great guy. One who'd never ever do anything wrong.
Uh huh.

I was pretty much just down the road from here last week

Massive Squid Wash Up in Quake Aftermath

What an amazing (and sad) sight this must have been.
I was on vacation with friends and family just down the road from La Jolla last week.

Part of the reason Murdoch's minions are whining so much about Franken's win.

Fox v. Franken

The lawsuit that Fox attempted to bring against Franken when "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them" was published. If you remember, Fox was pretty much laughed out of court. And Murdoch properties (Fox, WSJ) are doing their very best to be petty mean spirited lunatics in their behavior towards Franken.
I wish I'd been able to locate an audio of Franken describing the trial. I heard him tell the story once on the radio. I laughed so hard I had tears coming down my face.
Of course, he gets the last laugh on them. Al Franken, is after all, the duly elected Senator from Minnesota.