Thursday, August 19, 2010

Hard to shame the shameless.

Do you guys know what slut shaming is? Short description, Put in the most simple terms, slut-shaming happens when a person “publicly or privately [insults] a woman because she expressed her sexuality in a way that does not conform with patriarchal expectations for women”.
The definition is from here: FAQ: What is “slut-shaming”?

(This is another "inside baseball" sort of post, in a way.)

On Wednesday, I posted a reply to a Facebook friend's status.
Her status was about the insanity of the current media cycle.
And my response to her was: "Unfortunately, our media is allowing itself to be lead by the deranged. After all Pam Geller is being taken seriously."

Not necessarily the most polite thing to say, but, well, that's me.
And then I went out and lived the rest of my day. I got home last night to see there were a some responses. I'm posting them here.

First there was this:
"But ST, maybe tuck your shirt in? No need for cleavage here, is there?"

My Facebook profile picture: my picture (My shirt doesn't tuck in.)
My FB friend replied to the person and told him that was unacceptable. And he responded with this:

"Well, then i take it back, but why do we say things like the narrative in this country is being driven by deranged and then we post comments with pictures of our breasts hanging out.....there is a disconnect here and i have written about it before...imagine if men sported man cleavage and went around with low trousers unzuipepd and their can i say this their balls and penis hanging out.... i mean, cleavage has gotten way out of hand.... privately sure, but on FB, there should be standards......i once met a thearpsit in CNn tv and here she was advising Larry King about rape issues and she had cleaveage on national TV all the way out....i wrote to her adn she threatenwed to sue me, the PHD .......there is a disconnect...if america is deranged like Pam Geller but Fb can show boobs out, then where is sanity...just askiing...if i am out of line her, do delete my posts, i won't mind,,,i udnerstand your feelings, but i am just speaking the truth......before we cast the first stone about deragned we should look at ourslevs. no....? but okay, delete my comments, i made my point. most do not care. that is why i left sick sick USA 20 years ago....but Lindsay, pay me no mind, i still love you,,,,and i will behave...."

spelling, everything unchanged. I simply added the bold.

He posted those two responses publicly and emailed me that last one, so I feel no compunction about posting them here. He also went into my few publicly available pictures and linked to one that was more "suitable". That one being the one in the upper left hand corner.
He also added me as a friend on FB. I've refused that one, by the way. I know, you're shocked.
See, here's the thing, I don't find anything at all shameful about that other picture. Are my considerable assets hanging out freely for everyone to see? Hardly! The shirt is cute, I had a brand new haircut and makeup counter makeover when I took the picture. I think it's a great picture.
I didn't respond to the man last night. Or today either, to tell you the truth. Last night I was too angry. In the morning, well, it was just too ridiculous. And I have a public forum of my own to respond, without having to clog up Facebook.


sirlarkins said...


Well, at least they did leave the US. Too bad Facebook lets them come back and tell everyone what they think. Because we care.

And what is it with the spelling errors? I just had a friend post that she finally saw Avatar and hated it, and a bunch of comments (mine included) were of the "you go girl!" variety, but then there was the obligatory "lighten up" response...and the guy couldn't even spell the name of the movie. And a few other words besides. It's always the same, no matter what's being debated.

Spelling errors aside, this guy is clearly insane. Move along with your day, nothing to see here.

Demeur said...

You should have told him that your burka was at the cleaners and left it at that.

Anonymous said...

A burka comment would be witty, but kinda insensitive to women who choose to wear them.

I might opt for a simple "pervert = blocked" comment.

Chris Blake said...

I agree with that guy. Cleavage is definitely out of hand. Come on, people. It's time to put cleavage back in the hand. (Heh heh)